{"id":3744,"date":"2013-07-24T13:49:33","date_gmt":"2013-07-24T13:49:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.revistarambla.com\/icomo-se-llama-la-mujer-de-mariano-rajoy\/"},"modified":"2022-09-14T18:36:00","modified_gmt":"2022-09-14T16:36:00","slug":"icomo-se-llama-la-mujer-de-mariano-rajoy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.revistarambla.com\/en\/icomo-se-llama-la-mujer-de-mariano-rajoy\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00bfC\u00f3mo se llama la mujer de Mariano Rajoy?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Mi<\/a><\/p>\n

Mi amiga<\/span> nos dijo<\/span> que<\/span> Mariano Rajoy<\/span> era gay. \u00a0Vamos<\/span> que<\/span> lo hab\u00edan<\/span> casado<\/span> a la apurada<\/span>, previa<\/span> entrada<\/span> en pol\u00edtica<\/span>, con una<\/span> santa<\/span> Se\u00f1ora<\/span> para<\/span> poder<\/span> gozar<\/span> del rol<\/span> de candidato<\/span> conservador<\/span>, pero<\/span> que<\/span>\u00a0 tiene<\/span> un \u00a0novio<\/span> de toda<\/span> la vida<\/span> viviendo<\/span> en un pisito<\/span> mono cerca<\/span> de Moncloa<\/span>. Buscando<\/span> en la web he visto<\/span> mil montajes<\/span> y opiniones<\/span>. Algunos<\/span> que<\/span> defienden<\/span> la hombr\u00eda<\/span> del presidente<\/span> otros<\/span> que<\/span> se deleitan<\/span> regocij\u00e1ndose<\/span> en el cachondeo<\/span> que<\/span> produce este<\/span> ya<\/span> viejo<\/span> rumor.<\/p>\n

El caso<\/span> es<\/span> que<\/span> cuando<\/span> mi amiga<\/span> explic\u00f3<\/span> lo que<\/span> le hab\u00edan<\/span> chismorreado<\/span>, mi madre<\/span> solt\u00f3<\/span> un \u201cpobreeecito<\/span>, vivir<\/span> as\u00ed<\/span>, ocultando<\/span> su<\/span> condici\u00f3n\u201d<\/span>. Nos quedamos<\/span> helados<\/span>. No hay nadie<\/span> en casa, incluso<\/span> mi hijo<\/span> de 14 a\u00f1os<\/span> y mis<\/span> dos gatas<\/span>, que<\/span> le tenga<\/span> compasi\u00f3n<\/span> a Mariano Rajoy<\/span>. \u00a0Cuando<\/span> sale por<\/span> el \u00a0plasma Mariano Rajoy<\/a><\/span>\u00a0 nos hace<\/span> venir<\/span> mal de panza<\/span>. Pero<\/span> mi madre<\/span> se apiado<\/span> de la bestia<\/span>. El caso<\/span> es<\/span> que<\/span> sea o no gay \u00a0mi familia<\/span> sigue<\/span> queri\u00e9ndolo<\/span> colgar<\/span> por<\/span> los atributos<\/span>. Con toda<\/span> esta<\/span> historia<\/span> me di<\/span> cuenta<\/span> de que<\/span> yo<\/span> no conoc\u00eda<\/span> el nombre<\/span> de la primera<\/span> dama<\/span>. Tuve<\/span> que<\/span> ir<\/span> a Sangoogle<\/span> e informarme<\/span>.<\/p>\n

Mientras<\/span> divagaba<\/span> en estas<\/span> gilipolleces<\/span> cotidianas<\/span>, denegaban<\/span> la nacionalidad<\/span> a cientos<\/span> de extranjeros<\/span> que<\/span> llevan<\/span> residiendo<\/span> legalmente<\/span> en el Estado<\/span> espa\u00f1ol<\/span> y en Catalunya<\/span> un m\u00ednimo<\/span> de \u00a010 y 15 a\u00f1os<\/span>. Y se la denegaban<\/span> por<\/span> no saber el nombre<\/span> de la primera<\/span> dama<\/span>, entre<\/span> otras<\/span> tonter\u00edas<\/span> del test de ignorancia<\/span> cultural que<\/span> se ha inventado<\/span> el PP. Lo debe<\/span> haber<\/span> redactado<\/span> Wert<\/span>.<\/p>\n

La derecha<\/span> espa\u00f1ola<\/span> anda<\/span> siempre<\/span> intentando<\/span> emular<\/span> a los norteamericanos<\/span>, le chifla<\/span> el modelo<\/span> neoliberal<\/span> made in USA<\/em>. Da<\/span> la sensaci\u00f3n<\/span> de que<\/span> a\u00fan<\/span> sufren<\/span> ese<\/span> sentimiento<\/span> de inferioridad<\/span> que<\/span> les dejo<\/span> Mr Marshall<\/em> al pasar<\/span> de largo por<\/span> Espa\u00f1a<\/span>.\u00a0 En lugar<\/span> de imitaci\u00f3n<\/span> le queda<\/span> caricatura<\/span>. As\u00ed<\/span> lo ha hecho<\/span> con el Examen<\/span> de ciudadan\u00eda<\/span><\/em>.\u00a0 Est\u00e1n<\/span> haciendo<\/span> una<\/span> parodia<\/span> de un pa\u00eds<\/span> civil en todos<\/span> los \u00e1mbitos<\/span>. En los Estados<\/span> Unidos<\/span> ante la ley<\/span> todos<\/span> los ciudadanos<\/span> son iguales<\/span> hasta<\/span> que<\/span> se demuestra<\/span> lo que<\/span> tienen<\/span> en la Visa, es<\/span> decir<\/span> que<\/span> es<\/span> un modelo<\/span> que<\/span> naci\u00f3<\/span> imperfecto<\/span> y se va<\/span> corrompiendo<\/span> a medida<\/span> que<\/span> se van haciendo<\/span> copias<\/span>. Y al PP parece<\/span> que<\/span> se le acabo<\/span> la tinta<\/span> de la impresora<\/span>.<\/p>\n

Ayer<\/span> en el mercado<\/span> compre<\/span> cerezas<\/span> en una<\/span> parada<\/span> que<\/span> vend\u00edan<\/span> tambi\u00e9n<\/span> frutas<\/span> y hortalizas<\/span> orientales<\/span>. Atend\u00edan<\/span> dos hombres bien<\/span> avenidos<\/span>, uno<\/span> catal\u00e1n<\/span> y el otro<\/span> chino. Le pregunte<\/span> al catal\u00e1n<\/span> si<\/span> eran<\/span> socios<\/span>, me respondi\u00f3<\/span> que<\/span> s\u00ed<\/span>, que<\/span> hab\u00edan<\/span> hecho<\/span> un acuerdo<\/span> que<\/span> les beneficiaba<\/span> a los dos. La cara<\/span> de alegr\u00eda<\/span> del hombre chino al cobrar<\/span> no ten\u00eda<\/span> precio<\/span>. Creo<\/span> que<\/span> ese<\/span> hombre entend\u00eda<\/span> perfectamente<\/span> la cultura<\/span> catalana<\/span>. Est\u00e1<\/span> produciendo<\/span> en este<\/span> pa\u00eds<\/span>.\u00a0 Creo<\/span> que<\/span> eso<\/span>\u00a0 se llama convivir<\/span> en la diversidad<\/span> y encontrar<\/span> un nexo<\/span> comunicador<\/span> entre<\/span> personas. Pero<\/span>, aunque<\/span> esta<\/span> pareja<\/span> de productores<\/span> agr\u00edcolas<\/span> funcione<\/span> la mar de bien<\/span>, el chino no sabe<\/span> como<\/span> se llama la Sra<\/span>. de Mariano Rajoy<\/span>.<\/p>\n

En realidad<\/span> nadie<\/span> puede<\/span> saber exactamente<\/span> que<\/span> van a\u00a0 preguntar<\/span> la pr\u00f3xima<\/span> vez<\/span> quiz\u00e1s<\/span> entre<\/span> la pregunta<\/span> del mill\u00f3n<\/span>. \u00bfEs<\/span> o no gay el presidente<\/span> del Gobierno<\/span>? Yo<\/span> no lo s\u00e9<\/span> pero<\/span> los mensajitos<\/span> de amor a B\u00e1rcenas<\/span> dan<\/span> que<\/span> pensar<\/span> y si<\/span> as\u00ed<\/span> fuere<\/span> lo siento<\/span> por<\/span> mi querida<\/span> comunidad LGTB<\/a><\/span>. Lo que<\/span> en realidad<\/span> necesitamos<\/span> todos<\/span> es<\/span>\u00a0 la plena ciudadan\u00eda<\/span>, plenos<\/span> derechos<\/span> para<\/span> poder<\/span> competir<\/span> en iguales<\/span> condiciones<\/span>, no \u00a0saber como<\/span> hacer<\/span> una<\/span> paella.<\/p>\n

Anexo<\/span> algunas<\/span> de mis<\/span> respuestas<\/span> al test:<\/strong><\/p>\n

1) Motivos<\/span> por<\/span> los que<\/span> quiere<\/span> ser<\/span> espa\u00f1ol<\/span>:<\/p>\n

Porque<\/span> me facilita<\/span> la vida<\/span> burocr\u00e1tica<\/span>, laboral<\/span> y puedo<\/span> joderos<\/span> votando<\/span> a otros<\/span>.<\/p>\n

2) \u00bfQu\u00e9<\/span> cree<\/span> que<\/span> aporta<\/span> al pa\u00eds<\/span>?<\/p>\n

Posiblemente<\/span> mi aportaci\u00f3n<\/span> m\u00e1s<\/span> importante<\/span> a este<\/span> pa\u00eds<\/span> sea el hecho<\/span> de que<\/span> vaya<\/span> explicando<\/span> por<\/span> ah\u00ed<\/span> que<\/span> el mate no adelgaza<\/span> y que<\/span> a los espa\u00f1oles<\/span> les produce diarrea<\/span>.<\/p>\n

3) Nombre<\/span> dos deportistas<\/span> espa\u00f1oles<\/span><\/p>\n

Iniesta<\/span>, Gassol<\/span>. Perd\u00f3n<\/span> son catalanes<\/span>. \u00bfMarujita<\/span> D\u00edaz<\/span> y Lionel Messi<\/span>?<\/p>\n

4) \u00bfCu\u00e1l<\/span> es<\/span> la obra<\/span> m\u00e1s<\/span> famosa<\/span> de Cervantes?<\/p>\n

Mujeres al borde<\/span> de una<\/span> ataque<\/span> de <\/em>nervios<\/em>y<\/span> \u00bfQu\u00e9<\/span> he hecho<\/span> yo<\/span> para<\/span> merecer<\/span> esto<\/span>?<\/em> \u00bfO quiz\u00e1s<\/span> ten\u00eda<\/span> raz\u00f3n<\/span> mi profe<\/span> de literatura<\/span> en la lejana<\/span> Argentina? la obra<\/span> m\u00e1s<\/span> famosa<\/span> de Cervantes era El ingenioso<\/span> hidalgo Don Quijote<\/span> de la Mancha<\/span><\/em>. Pero<\/span> es<\/span> un libro<\/span> muy<\/span> gordo<\/span> y no lo lee nadie<\/span> entero<\/span>.<\/p>\n

5) \u00bfD\u00f3nde<\/span> termina<\/span> el camino<\/span> de Santiago?<\/p>\n

En una<\/span> Catedral<\/span> con un pirulo<\/span> que<\/span> echa<\/span> humo<\/span> para<\/span> esconder<\/span> el tufillo<\/span> de los que<\/span> llegan<\/span> caminando<\/span> desde<\/span> Lleida<\/span>.<\/p>\n

6) Moneda<\/span> actual y moneda<\/span> anterior en Espa\u00f1a<\/span><\/p>\n

El euro la actual, la peseta la anterior. Y un euro son 166 pesetas, me lo recuerda<\/span> mi padre cada<\/span> dos d\u00edas<\/span>.<\/p>\n

7) \u00bfForma parte<\/span> Espa\u00f1a<\/span> de la Uni\u00f3n<\/span> Europea<\/span>?<\/p>\n

Eso<\/span> pretende<\/span> pero<\/span> se cae<\/span> por<\/span> los lados<\/span>, est\u00e1<\/span> justo<\/span> en los l\u00edmites<\/span> y se parece<\/span> mucho<\/span> a Marruecos<\/span> (menos<\/span> mal porque<\/span> si<\/span> se pareciera<\/span> a Alemania<\/span> me aburrir\u00eda<\/span>)<\/p>\n

8) \u00bfCu\u00e1ntas<\/span> comunidades<\/span> aut\u00f3nomas<\/span> hay en Espa\u00f1a<\/span>?<\/p>\n

\u00bfAut\u00f3nomas<\/span>, aut\u00f3nomas<\/span> o como<\/span> mucho<\/span> que<\/span> est\u00e1n<\/span> en alquiler<\/span>? pues<\/span> unas<\/span> 17 \u00bfno? \u00bfSe cuentan<\/span> Ceuta<\/span> y Melilla<\/span>? \u00bfY Gibraltar y Perejil<\/span> como<\/span> las<\/span> contamos<\/span>?<\/p>\n

9) Diga<\/span> alg\u00fan<\/span> art\u00edculo<\/span> de la Constituci\u00f3n<\/span> Espa\u00f1ola<\/span> y explique<\/span> alguno<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00bfPuedo<\/span> explicar<\/span> uno<\/span> del Estatut<\/span>? Si ya<\/span> s\u00e9<\/span> que<\/span> se lo pasan<\/span> por<\/span> el forro<\/span>, pero<\/span> pasa<\/span> que<\/span> yo<\/span> inmigre<\/span> a Catalunya<\/span> no a Espa\u00f1a<\/span>. Me gusta<\/span> el del biling\u00fcismo<\/span>.<\/p>\n

10) \u00bfExiste<\/span> la pena<\/span> de muerte<\/span> en Espa\u00f1a<\/span>? \u00bfY la cadena<\/span> perpetua<\/span>?<\/p>\n

No, no hace<\/span> falta<\/span> te<\/span> matan<\/span> los bancos<\/span> y te<\/span> suicida<\/span> el Estado<\/span>, pero<\/span> si<\/span> formas<\/span> parte<\/span> de la casa Real o de la far\u00e1ndula<\/span> te<\/span> perdonan<\/span>.<\/p>\n

11) \u00bfQui\u00e9n<\/span> es<\/span> el presidente<\/span> de la Generalitat<\/span>?<\/p>\n

Jordi<\/span> Pujol<\/span>. Es<\/span> que<\/span> Mas<\/span> no existe<\/span>.<\/p>\n

12) \u00bfQui\u00e9n<\/span> fue<\/span> el presidente<\/span> del Gobierno<\/span> en la transici\u00f3n<\/span>?<\/p>\n

Si la transici\u00f3n<\/span> hubiese<\/span> existido<\/span>, hubiese<\/span> sido<\/span> Santiago Carrilo<\/span>, pero<\/span> resulta<\/span> que<\/span> fue<\/span> Adolfo Su\u00e1rez<\/span>.<\/p>\n

13) \u00bfQui\u00e9n<\/span> fue<\/span> Carrero<\/span> Blanco?<\/p>\n

Un cabr\u00f3n<\/span> que<\/span> aparco<\/span> el coche<\/span> en una<\/span> azotea<\/span>.<\/p>\n

14) Fecha<\/span> del golpe<\/span> de Estado<\/span><\/p>\n

De esas<\/span> fechas<\/span> tengo<\/span> muchas<\/span>, vengo<\/span> de Argentina, te<\/span> parece<\/span> 16 de julio<\/span> de 1936.<\/p>\n

15) Nombre<\/span> a cinco<\/span> reyes<\/span> de Espa\u00f1a<\/span><\/p>\n

Me niego<\/span> a responder, es<\/span> una<\/span> pregunta<\/span> pol\u00edticamente<\/span> incorrecta<\/span>. Por<\/span> haber<\/span> hubo<\/span> reinas<\/span> tambi\u00e9n<\/span>, o acaso<\/span> no se dice \u00a0\u201ctanto<\/span> roba<\/span>, roba<\/span> tanto<\/span>, Unadargar\u00edn<\/span> como<\/span> la Infanta\u201d<\/span>, perd\u00f3n<\/span> esa<\/span> no es<\/span> Reina ni<\/span> de su<\/span> casa.<\/p>\n

16) \u00bfPuede<\/span> decir<\/span> el nombre<\/span> de algunas<\/span> de las<\/span> islas<\/span> de las<\/span> Canarias<\/span>?<\/p>\n

\u00bfPerejil<\/span>? Vale, Las Palmas, Hierro<\/span>, Gran Canaria<\/span><\/p>\n

17) \u00bfQue<\/span> dos pa\u00edses<\/span> forman<\/span> la pen\u00ednsula<\/span> Ib\u00e9rica<\/span>?<\/p>\n

\u00bfPortugal, Andorra? Es<\/span> que<\/span> Espa\u00f1a<\/span>, es<\/span> como<\/span> Artur<\/span> Mas<\/span>, no existe<\/span>.<\/p>\n

NOTA:<\/strong> Mariano Rajoy<\/span> y Elvira Fern\u00e1ndez<\/span> se casaron<\/span> el D\u00eda<\/span> de los Inocentes<\/span> de 1996.<\/p>\n

NOTA 2:<\/strong> no sale la del pulpo<\/span> futbolero<\/span> en este<\/span> test, pero<\/span> aunque<\/span> no se lo crean<\/span> si<\/span> sali\u00f3<\/span> en uno<\/span>. http:\/\/ccaa.elpais.com\/ccaa<\/span>\/2013\/07\/10\/catalunya<\/span>\/1373481456_695949.html<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mi amiga nos dijo que Mariano Rajoy era gay. \u00a0Vamos que lo hab\u00edan casado a la apurada, previa entrada en pol\u00edtica, con una santa Se\u00f1ora para poder gozar del rol de candidato conservador, pero que\u00a0 tiene un \u00a0novio de toda la vida viviendo en un pisito mono cerca de Moncloa. 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